As Ready As I'll Ever Be

I've got a long way to go before I get there

I've got a lot of field to hoe with the sun so high

Got a lot of miles to roll

And the next few only show

That there is still such a long way to go

 - Dwight Yoakam


It's the best cure for the blues
and it keeps me out of jail.
Goin' for a long, long run
on the North Shore Trail
 - Sky Smeed

Race Director Sherrie Klover giving final instructions before the start of the 2017 Hawk
(photo by Mile 90)

OK, it's really and finally here! I've been thinking about this day since I first decided to run the Hawk Hundred back in mid 2017. I absolutely love everything about this race. Things get started with the pre-race meal on Friday and the fun doesn't end till the 100 mile race cutoff at 2 PM Sunday (of course the Race Directors and volunteers are busy behind the scenes way before and afterwards). Then, just when things start to calm down, Mile 90 will post all of the awesome race pics which will set off a wave of social media frenzy as folks share their pics and stories. I've run the marathon (2013), volunteered (2014, 2017), and run the 50 mile race (2015, 2016), so I guess that leaves the hundo as the last box for me to check.

In my first post on this blog, I said that what I needed was "adversity training" to toughen myself up for the Hawk. I've certainly had that. Things have gone great overall, but I've definitely had some setbacks along the way. Hopefully those setbacks have taught me a few lessons that will help me get across the finish line this weekend.

The mudathon at the Psycho Wyco in February provided me with an opportunity to work on my patience and mental toughness. I was hoping to finish in 6-ish hours, but muddy conditions dictated otherwise. After a 2 hour first loop, I slogged through the mud for an additional 6-plus hours to complete the next two loops. I was happy with my effort though, I set out to run a 50k and that's what I did. All the beer was gone by the time I finished though.

I got my first DNF (Did Not Finish) at the Rockin' K in April. It may show up on ultrasignup as an "unofficial marathon finish", but I know that it's a 50 mile DNF. I was undertrained, but didn't know it. I found that you shouldn't rely too much on treadmill training, no matter how steep the incline setting. The downhills in the race just wore out my quads on the first loop. So I had to walk the downhills on loop two, which makes for some slow going on that course. Mentally though, I never hesitated about going out for loop two, and that was a little, yet important victory. I made the mile 38 cutoff time by 5 minutes but opted not to continue. Next time I try for the Rockin' K 50, I will focus on lots of hill repeats in training. There will be a next time for the 50 mile, probably not in 2019 though.

I rolled my ankle in April, no real damage, just lots of swelling. It happened well before the Night Hawk, so all things considered, I was pretty lucky. I did learn though, to always appreciate being able to run because it can be taken away in an instant. I'm old enough to know that I'm lucky to still be able to do this silly-assed running stuff and I want to keep doing it for as long I have legs that work and eyes that see. So, while running, occasionally I like to take Kurt Vonnegut's advice and look around and think "if this isn't nice, I don't know what is".

I got my second DNF at the Night Hawk 50k in June. There was really only one lesson to learn, you can't run in deep mud in sandals, unless you're wearing socks. This was a lesson that I could only learn in a race, as we don't run muddy trails (Trail Hawk motto, Kindness to Life and Land) when we're training. We'd rather not run muddy trails during a race either, but stuff happens sometimes. Another lesson that I could (we'll see) have learned from this race is the ever-popular "don't go out like an asshole". I ran the first loop too fast considering the heat/humidity, this likely contributed to the "stop me in my tracks" leg cramps that I had after the mud had forced me off the trail and onto the road. This race also confirmed for me that something unexpected and slightly crazy always happens at the Night Hawk.

My trek up to Blanca Peak earlier last month showed me that I can do things that scare me. That climb was challenging, and I admit that I had to "talk myself down" a few times as I felt the panic begin to rise. Mountain climbing seems to fall into the same category with child birth (so I hear) and running ultramarathons, if we could really remember just how painful/scary it actually was, we'd never do it again.

My training went perfectly right up to the end. Or nearly the end anyway. My last big training run (three weeks before the Hawk) was scheduled to be a 50 miler, or two 25 mile Hawk loops at Clinton Lake (same route as the Hawk). In planning this run, I'd debated whether I should run 30 miles on Saturday and 20 on Sunday (or some other combo) to make for a 50 mile weekend. From past experience though, I felt that a single 50 mile day would be best. I've struggled mentally in all of my past 50 milers, and I felt that maybe I'd learn something during the struggle that would help me through 100 miles. As it turned out though, the struggle this time was more physical than mental.

I knew that the 50 mile training run would be a hot one, the forecast was for mid 90's, but after running all summer in the heat, I didn't really think it would be an issue. As it turns out, running in the heat for 12-13 hours is waaay different for me than running in the heat for 4-5 hours, especially when (as I found out later) the heat index was up around 100. I had plenty of company and energy on the first loop. I was sweating like a pig as the temperature climbed, but was having no issues at all. I did start hiking the hills about 7 or 8 miles into loop two, that's not unusual, but I was thinking that if I was really in shape for 100 miles, I shouldn't be walking yet. Some parts of Cactus Ridge and all of the Bunker Hill/Goodwin loop are totally exposed, no tree cover at all, so the sun was really starting to beat me down during that section. By the time I came down from Bunker Hill to west park road, I was toast. Luckily there were some other folks out there running/crewing. They were looking out for me, so I had access to ice, caffeine, and all kinds of tasty calories. After a fifteen minute stop, I was as ready as I'd be, so I headed out for the last 12 miles on the white trail, walking as I downed a can of Coke. I managed to walk/jog for the next 4-5 miles. As I slowed to only walking though, I decided that I would jump back on the blue trail at Lands End which would shorten my remaining distance by 3 miles. This proved to be one of the few smart decisions I made that day. The last two miles, the best that I could do was a very slow walk, but I was breathing as if I was running at a moderate pace. The heat had taken its toll. To make matters worse, my hearing felt as if my ears were plugged. First one ear and then both felt like I needed to yawn and relieve the pressure, but nothing seemed to work. I'd had this happen once before in the heat, so I knew that it would go away once I stopped moving for a while, but it really made the spacey fuzzy-headed feeling that much worse. Deanna had been keeping tabs on me via text, and when she offered to drive me home afterwards, I gladly accepted. I'd never needed a ride home from races or training runs before, but I really didn't know if I was mentally in the game enough to get behind the wheel. I'm so lucky to have folks looking out for me, thank you to everyone that helped me that day, I'd never have made it back without you!

So, what the hell happened? I believe that I got behind on electrolytes and wasn't able to catch back up because I wasn't eating/drinking enough in the heat, resulting in my epic bonk. I always start out drinking coconut water (with chia seeds mixed in) because it has a great balance of electrolytes, so it didn't occur to me that I might not be getting enough. Even though there are plenty of electrolytes in the coco water, there apparently aren't enough for me when I'm sweating profusely for 8-12 hours. So, my plan for the Hawk (especially if it's hot) is to eat a lot of Salt Stick caplets. They have all four of the main electrolytes (sodium, potassium, magnesium, calcium) in sufficient quantity for something as foolish as attempting to run one hundred miles in the heat. During the race, I really need to be in the mindset of always drinking/eating/taking in electrolytes. At shorter distances, I've gotten by with thinking "it's only X more miles, I can make it to the finish" without worrying too much about eating/drinking enough. I won't make it one hundred miles without taking care of my nutrition throughout the race, although I'm still curious how far I could go on just Funyuns and Diet Dr Pepper.

So, I'm glad that I tried for the 50 miles all in one run. I only made it to 47, but I learned a valuable lesson that I might not have if I'd spread the 50 miles out over two long runs. I now have a recent and painful reminder of what can happen if I'm not taking care of my nutrition, especially the electrolytes.

Hoping for another happy ending like at the Hawk 50 in 2016! (photo by Mile 90)

The last three weeks have been "taper time", which means drastically cutting back on training volume so that your tired legs have to time to refresh before the race. At this point, whether or not I'm able to finish this race will likely depend less on my physical ability, and more how I manage my nutrition, the heat (or rain), and any unforeseen challenges (mental and otherwise) that may pop up. I have the peace of mind of knowing that I've put in the work. I've checked off every training run on the calendar. Whatever happens on race day will happen, but I feel that I'm as prepared as I can possibly be. So, race day is finally here, I'm in the best shape of my life and I'm ready, let's do this!